Only In My Dreams
by Love Struck Teenagers
Summary: BIG TIME RUSH SEMI-OFFICIAL ONESHOT DAY 2013! Kendall is in the army. What kind of drama could ensue when Jo gets involved with him? Songfic. Song is Enchanted by Taylor Swift.


_Hey guys! This songfic/oneshot is for jaylahearts's semi official big time rush oneshot day! Wooooh! Hope you like it:)_

**There I was again tonight forcing laughter, faking smiles**

**Same old tired, lonely place**

Dinner parties don't increase in fun just because the U.S. Army hosts one. Just a bunch of old people talking about politics. I'm still debating why I went, but thank goodness I did.

My dad was invited to the party –which was more like a ball if you ask me—and asked me if I would be interested in going. My mom thought it'd be a good idea because I never saw my father let alone spend a whole evening with him. I agreed mostly out of sympathy, but I loved my dad and this wouldn't kill me.

So that's pretty much how I ended up here, in the most boring of places on a Saturday night. The noise barely reached above murmurs and the archaic music almost put me to sleep. I sighed, picked up my dress, and walked over to the refreshment table. I poured myself some champagne and scanned the room. Not much to look at really. The ballroom was more than impressive, with two giant chandeliers, a white marble staircase out of a fairy tale, and who could forget the priceless paintings on the walls.

"Hey there beautiful."

I turned and cringed at the sight of him. I knew this guy's type right away; arrogant, cocky, and full of himself. I could tell just from the smirk on his face. Still, I politely smiled and gracefully walked away.

"Where you going, honey?" He asked grabbing my arm before I could make it past him. He spun me around and encroached my personal space by moving his head so close to mine that I could smell the whiskey on his breath. He smiled crookedly and winked, probably thinking he was being all seductive. I resisted the urge to punch him or spit in his face or something along those lines, but I remained in check and tried once more to walk away.

"Hey, ya don't have to leave just yet. I just want to talk is all." This time I really did make a contorted face and broke free from his arm. Although, I still remained calm.

"No you don't. You just want a quick hook up." I started backing away with a smirk on my face. "Sorry to disappoint you buddy, but I don't think you're gett'n lucky tonight. Give the unlucky girl you pursue next my condolences." And with that I saluted him and made my way back to my father, who was talking with a middle-aged man in uniform and what appeared to be his wife.

He smiled at me and continued right along on with their conversation. I took a generous sip of my champagne and sighed mentally. Guys are real douchbags; all they care about is getting laid, and by the looks of things, they're even more desperate when alcohol circulates through their system. How I wish chivalry wasn't dead. Can't there be a nice guy out there who cares about other things in a girl? Preferably me?

"Josephine." I winced at my full name, but tuned in my father and his counterparts. "I'd like for you to meet General Kenneth Knight and his wife, Jennifer."

I smiled graciously at them. "It's nice to meet you."

"They have a son, Kendall is it? Who serves as well. Is that correct?" They nodded.

"He's around here somewhere…Ah, there he is." Mrs. Knight smiled as she nodded toward a tall blond boy amoung a group of 4 boys.

**Walls of insincerity**

**Shifting eyes and vacancy vanished when I saw your face**

**All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you**

**Your eyes whispered "have we met?"**

**Across the room your silhouette starts to make it's way to me**

Kendall's eyes caught me off guard. They were a brilliant deep green color with a few fleeting specks of gold and hazel. They seemed so pure, which was ironic seeing as he was exposed to war and death. His stare took hold of my body and it wouldn't release me. He put me in some sort of trance. I sensed he was trying to ask me something with his eyes. Like "Have we met?"

I cocked my head and sent him back a response. "Only in my dreams." This made a broad smile appear on his face and I could tell his friends were itching to find out what, or in this case, who was causing this sort of reaction out of him. He just hushed them up and reverted to talking about whatever they were talking about prior to the interruption.

The noise from their conversation rose and the Latino boy pulled out a hockey helmet and stomped off. The other two boys in the pack trailed him, pleading as they went. He chuckled and walked over upon his mother's beckoning.

"Hey mom." He kissed her mother's cheek and turned to my father and me. He shot his parents a questioning look to which they chuckled.

"This is Sargent Taylor and his daughter, Josephine."

"Uh...Jo. You can just call me Jo." I cut in. Two is more than enough times for my real name to be used tonight.

"Well, _Jo_, it's a pleasure to meet you." He smiled warmly at me and shook my hand.

**The playful conversation starts**

**Counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy**

Both my and his parents smiled slyly and excused themselves. We watched them as they went.

"So…" he started casually. "I think you handled yourself pretty well back there."

I blushed, but smirked. "Yeah you know. You just gotta show 'em who's boss. And then they back." I faked a Jersey/New York accent.

He chuckled. "You definitely told him off."

I sighed. "He just wouldn't leave me alone." He nodded in agreement. "No offense, but are all you guys like that?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know…like a douch bag?"

He burst out laughing. "Ouch! Judgmental much?"

"I'm serious." I whined.

"No. To answer your question, no we're not all like that dick."

"So…" I swirled what little champagne I had left in my glass. "What _are_ you like?"

He smirked. "Why, so you can add me to your stereotypical list?"

I huffed and started to walk away, but he gingerly grabbed my hand. I faced him with an annoyed look.

"Hey, I was just kidding." I gave him a look. "I'm serious." He said with a laugh.

I rolled my eyes but punched his shoulder to vent the excess anger. Apparently I had an arm on me because he retracted in pain.

"Damn girl. I've been through some pretty rigorous training in the past, but nothing could prepare me for that." He joked sarcastically.

"Haha, you're _so_ funny."

The music slowed down and an army general announced the end of the evening. He instructed us to collect our things and exit immediately. As I bid Kendall goodbye, he slipped a paper in my hands with his number and deployment location.

"Just in case you want to know more about me." He shrugged good-heartedly.

Despite my anger a few seconds ago, I smiled. "I do."

"Alrighty then." He thrust out his hand for me to shake. The gesture caused me to laugh. "Hey, don't judge me. I'm old fashion."

"I like that." I said and shook his hand.

As I walked away, I could've sworn I heard him say he'll see me in his dreams.

**This night is sparkling, don't you let it go**

**I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home**

**I'll spend forever wondering if you knew**

**I was enchanted to meet you**

_~1 Year Later~_

I remember that night quite fondly. After I left with my father, I couldn't stop blushing as we drove home. I received a few odd look from my father, but I reassured it was due to the cold and not a boy. I was still hi little girl, so it would've been hard for him to let me go. If I was being completely honest with myself, meeting Kendall was probably the happiest moments so far in my life. Even though I barely knew him, I had a hunch we would grow close.

I called him everyday. If he didn't pick up, I'd just send him an extremely long text and turn my phone off to get back at him for ignoring me.

Everything was awesome; we grew closer and I realized how different he was from my expectations. He cared about my feelings and knew how to boost my spirits when I was down on myself. We chatted on a daily basis and even skyped. Just seeing his face –even if it was on a small computer screen—improved my day that much more.

Unfortunately, the prosperity didn't last. He found out that he was going to be deployed to Iraq in about a week or two. He tried to reassure me of his safety, but I knew he was lying. Over the past few months, I started learning his body language and I just knew him and his tendencies.

**The lingering question kept me up**

**2am, who do you love?**

**I wonder till I'm wide awake**

I also found out he started to date a girl in his ranks, Lucy. He went on and on about her and to tell you the truth, I felt threatened. This bonding or whatever we called it between Kendall and me hung in the balance. If he started dating this girl, he wouldn't want to tell me everything anymore.

He might not want me in his life anymore.

I just couldn't handle it. As much as it pained me to hear about his relationship with another girl, it pained me not to be apart of his life. I also felt happy for him. He finally found someone who made him happy and that he liked a lot.

I think I held up pretty well for the first few months of his deployment. We wrote letters, sent emails when he could access the internet, and I even received a few phone calls too update me on his condition. His voice usually told me all I needed to know; he was tired and homesick and frightened. He kept the mood light and asked me how college was going and nudged me when I mentioned a boy I liked (or pretended to like).

**Now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door**

**I'd open up and you would say,**

**It was enchanting to meet you**

As time dragged on, I began losing my sanity. I constantly worried about his safety even when I needed to focus on other things. I couldn't sleep at night because the not knowing kept me up. I began falling behind in school and I'm pretty sure I gained like 15 pounds.

Slowly, I began receiving fewer and fewer letters from him. I'd write him and hear back from him almost two weeks later. I lost track of how much time elapsed and I had no idea what mess he was caught in except what played on the news channels.

All I wanted was for him to come home in one piece and tell me everything was going to be alright. But I knew better.

The more time he was away from me, the stronger the connection I felt towards him. I began developing romantic feelings and no matter what I did, whom I dated, or what I told myself, they stayed firmly rooted in my heart. I longed for him to come home and tell me everything would be alright. I dreamed about him almost every night and they haunted me. Some portrayed happy, carefree situations, but most depicted him getting shot in front of me.

Then everything shattered.

My father informed me that Kendall was killed in a suicide bombing while saving 3 American lives –his friends from the party. Tears streamed down my face and my brain switched off. I had a very tough time coping. I couldn't fathom the idea that he was gone and wouldn't be coming back. I went through a few packs of tissues a week and I didn't even leave my dorm for a solid week.

**This is me praying that this was the very first page**

**Not where the story line ends**

**My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again**

**These are the words I held back as I was leaving too soon**

**I was enchanted to meet you**

I kept holding onto the idea that he'd just pop up at my door and tell me he wasn't dead and he wanted to be with me. I desperately wanted our story to continue, but I knew once a character died, their plot dies with him.

It took me about a month before I could function without depending on my roommate, Camille. It didn't mean I was completely over him, but I could dress myself on my own and brush my hair and teeth. She began immersing me into college life again and I started bouncing back.

After I miraculously passed my finals in May, Camille volunteered to take me out for a drink. So I went to the bar, ordered a drink and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

After an hour I received a text that she was 'caught up' and couldn't make it. So what's the logical thing to do when you've just lost the person you care about and your best friend in the world ditches you in a bar?

You get wasted.

I heard the door open around my second drink and the man sat down next to me at the bar. There wasn't enough alcohol in my blood for me to be drunk, but I started feeling a little woozy.

"I'll have what she's having."

I glanced over at man and almost fell out of my seat. He had the greenest eyes I've ever seen, blond hair, and a plaid shirt on. He looked almost exactly like _him_. Only this guy was built like a tank. His shirt snuggly fit him and he had a few scrapes on his face and exposed forearms.

"You know you look really familiar."

He grinned. "I get that a lot."

"No like _really_ familiar. You remind me of my dead friend." Obviously, my censoring skills vanish in the presence of alcohol.

"I actually haven't gotten that one." He took a swig of beer and asked, "What was this dead friend like?"

"Well we only really met once; when we were at this party for the military. He died in combat." The alcohol couldn't mend my broken heart but it sure as hell helped with the pain.

"I'm really sorry. I bet you miss him a lot."

"Yeah. I keep replaying this scene in my head. When I was leaving the party I thought I heard him say something and I wish I knew exactly what it was. Because I'm pretty sure I heard him say…"

"…only in my dreams." I gasped.

My heart began a marathon in my chest as I made eye contact with this man. No, it wasn't possible. He died… If this was some stupid joke I swear… I took a deep breath.

"Kendall?"

"Hi Jo."

Before I could think anything through, I launched myself at him. Our lips connected instantly and fireworks went off. I ran my hands through his messy blond hair and the rest of his body, trying to commit it all to memory.

When we pulled away, my questions subsided for the time being. The story could come later, once I was finished kissing him.

Before capturing my lips again, he whispered. "I don't have to dream anymore."


End file.
